Here are some of the most frequently asked questions and answers.

1.  What do you specialize in your work?

I provide online or in-person mental health consultation and coaching for teenagers and young adults struggling with identity, life meaning/purpose, and dealing with difficult relationships with their parents or intimate partners. 

2. What is your approach to depression, anxiety, anger management, and relationship difficulty?

Over more than two decades of clinical and research work in psychology, I have learned that the most effective approach to psychology or mental health is through a quality relationship they find. My successful cases are due to my clients’ unwavering dedication and commitment to their betterment through our trust-based relationship. I have had clients who stayed and walked with me for many years through their life as a single, married, with a child, and through midlife challenges. For those who had early trauma that has contributed to their pessimistic view on life found my supportive work extremely valuable.

3. If my adult child is struggling with depression and suicidal thought, what do you suggest for me to do as a parent to help my suffering child?

Many parents get caught off guard when they find their teen or young adult children struggling with depression, addiction to various substances, and even suicidal thoughts. Parents must recognize their child’s struggle and pain without judgment, such as they are not trying hard, bad since they are using illegal drugs, or lazy. It is because they have been doing their best to deal with their struggles and pain in their own way.  At the same time, parents should not feel guilty about their child’s struggles. It is because most of us, even trained professionals, still do not know precisely where these symptoms started; even if we know, it is not easy to find the best remedies. Many of these sufferers are recommended for mental health treatment, but the majority do not seek or continue since they are not interested and motivated. Especially these young survivors do not want to get their fragile egos tainted with stigma and shame, blaming themselves for it. However, teenagers and young adults are still young enough to view their parents’ contribution and participation with appreciation and inspiration for their motivation to try hard and improve. Sadly, many suffering children give up even trying to communicate with their parents about their struggles. 

4. If you give advise those who are suffering from depression, anxiety or anger, what would it be?

I advise them first to learn about why they are not responsible for the cause of their problems even if all others, including their parents, are uninformed about the seriousness of it and therefore unwilling to invest their time, resources, and energy on their recovery process except leaving them to the system . I recommend them to educate the uninformed parents about your pain and struggle since your life is more precious than anyone else’s, and you may need their emotional as well as financial support to continue to seek a quality counseling service, which can provide a steady, nonjudgmental, and consistent presence of a counselor that is essential for the improvement of their emotional condition.

5. What would you advice to the parents who want to help their children in counseling?

Many youngsters struggling with depression, anxiety, addiction, or various relationship issues initially have tried mental health services but end up dropping out for various reasons. I believe it is because of their failure to form a good relationship with their counselors. It is also because of the stigma attached to mental health services, as the name indicates, especially since many parents are ignorant about their children’s pain and why they need to invest in quality counseling services. Many parents are unwilling to invest resources in their children’s mental health but rather inherit a large sum of money or wealth. Sadly, the most deadly for teenagers and young adults aged 15 to 29 are due to suicide or overdose. Many parents do not see that for those in emotional pain, wealth and financial success mean nothing, as we have seen in many suicidal deaths of the celebrities such as Robin Williams, Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, and many others.  

6. Is there anything parents can do other than providing financial support for counseling?

Parents can play much better roles than providing financial support for counseling. Although it would be better to provide financial support for counseling than for other purposes, such as buying a house, especially if their child cannot afford to connect with a good and dedicated counselor, it will be much better if the parents can participate in their child’s counseling process to learn how to understand and support their child outside the counseling session. It can be done, of course, through  the consent of the client. Their participation will expedite their child’s recovery from pain very much. Among those youths in my clinical work, whose parents participated in their healing journey, none of them carried out their urge to end their life. Many parents do not realize how much power and influence they still have in their child’s recovery process. The challenge is that many clinicians in the current medical system in America feel uncomfortable allowing the parents to participate in their child’s counseling process due to the fear of violating the privacy rights of their client. However, sadly, many of these youths who initiated the treatment alone failed to complete it and died by suicide or homicide, as we saw in the case of Aurora theatre shooter James Holms, Columbine high school shooter Eric Harris, and Santa Barbara shooter Elliot Rodger.

 

7. How do you help couples in conflict?

 

I help them find hope even in hopeless situations in their relationship, such as dealing with an affair. Most marital problems arise after many years into marriage due to the personality conflict between partners that creates tension and interest in someone outside of marriage for support. If a troubled marriage involves under-age children, it can become much more challenging. However, if either party is willing to learn a different perspective about the relationship, the relationship can find hope for possible reparation. But without learning a different perspective and paradigm, their usual ways of dealing with the conflict will not work but perpetuate their stress and pain. My best recommendation is to find a counselor who can help them develop a different perspective about their deadlocked marriage so that they can deal with the conflict in a different light.